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NeverlandWhispers from The Cracks in My HeartLinks · Luke's Blog (& also links to some other friends' blogs... LJ is LAME for allowing only 5 links) |
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GREAT NEWS from the Youth Apostolate of the St. James Renewal Movement!!! We've still got vacant slots for our next Youth Encounter (Y.E.) Weekend AND the brochure and application form are now available ONLINE! Just *CLICK* the following link: I WANNA JOIN Y.E. 7!!! download the files and submit your application forms and payments ASAP (Get them in by APRIL 6 to secure your slots!!!) coz those slots won't stay vacant for very long! Need more info? Contact: LEE DE LEON @ 0927-873-5980 or CARLINE CHUA CHIACO @ 0917-522-3673 OR e-mail ye.sjrm@gmail.com. LIVE BLESSED! |
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Tonight, I did something I hadn't done in a very long time. In the dead of night, I sat on the steps of our lanai, at the back of our house and had a cigarette. The last time that I did this, I was with an old friend, back when I still played guitar. Plucking what chords I knew, we had a few cigarettes and, contemplating the heavens, we just talked about life. Tonight, I asked God, "was it real?" because that relationship ended many years ago. I'd always believed that real friendship always lasted a lifetime. Real relationships were forever. Looking back at all the ended relationships - friendships, love relationships, "almost" love relationships - I could remember so many. The Lord led me to realize that there have been an infinite number of people who have come and gone in my life; the vast majority I couldn't even remember. Some, I could only remember a name, a face, sometimes both, but nothing more. But I could remember him, the one I sat with that night with cigarettes, my guitar and the heavens looking down on us as we looked up. I remember the lives God allowed me to help save and bring home to Him. I remember the one who brought me closer to His heart. She was the first to blatantly tell me even real relationships end. I couldn't accept it then. For many years, I couldn't accept it. Real love lasts forever, I believed. Real love does last forever, but I am not the one that sustains it. Real love sustains me. It sustains us. So, tonight, I've come to accept that relationships do end, but the real ones... you'll never forget. I remember him. I remember her. I remember them. Most of all, I remember Love and I believe that Love remains with all of us and sustains all of us. But don't get me wrong. I still believe that real relationships, though some end, others really can last a lifetime. The only sure end in sight is when death does us part. Even then, love remains. The love we share and the love we've shared will always remain. Remember that. Finally, I remember another dear friend, someone I also loved very deeply and one who I believed also loved me deeply. I especially remember him because, once, when I was really agonizing over his pain as a shepherd is close to his lamb's heart, as Jesus feels for me and you and all of us personally, I started to write him a song. I'd hoped to finish it and give it to him. I'd hoped it would bring him closer to understanding and receiving more fully how much God loves him. Then, we parted ways. The song remains unfinished. I found the song today. Even after 3 or 4 hard drive crashes since... I found the song today. I'll take on the song again. This time, I believe I'll finish it... maybe soon... maybe not... but I'll finish it because I'm not writing it. I'm letting God write it as He writes a song for me, as He writes my life. His love sustains me. His love gives life to music. He is my song and I am His. In the end, only one relationship really lasts forever. Not even death can do you part. That's your relationship with God, for God is Love and Love never ends. (1 Cor 13:8) |
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Click here to see PART II. *** Hope Hope is the desire of something together with the expectation of obtaining it. Some time in April 2008, the author came across a Gospel commentary by the Holy Father. It started the author on an interesting journey that has led him to a wonderful glimpse of the Christian virtue of hope. This is the third and last installment of the Road to Emmaus series. Hope is a powerful thing. It allows us to endure anything. When things are at its worse, it is hope that can carry us through. Such is the nature of hope. But hope requires two elements: The desire of something, someplace or someone and the expectation that it will be obtained, reached or found. Without those two elements, hope falters. Without the first element, we are easily pushed and pulled by petty distractions. Without the second, we are tossed to and fro by weak emotions. Absent one element, we give up. It is simple logic. Why would you strive for something if it is not what you really want? Why continue if it cannot be done?
Here lies what appears to be the irony in hope. Hope, despite all its power, now seems fragile; easily lost, easily destroyed. That conclusion is inevitable because the desire and expectation is dependent on us. When our desire or expectation changes or weakens, hope falters. Frankly, if that is the case, then hope is a joke. Powerful but easily destroyed...that doesn’t make sense at all. Something is missing. Then I came across the story of the two disciples on the road to Emmaus. Its amazing what a story can make you understand. In the beginning of that story, two disciples were filled with sadness and despair as they walked down the road to Emmaus. Their feelings were understandable; Jesus had died on the cross. They felt beaten, abandoned and lost. They felt alone. But they were not alone. Though their eyes could not see, the risen Christ was walking with them on this road. He was with them. By the end of the story, the eyes of the two disciples were finally opened. They finally saw Him. Immediately, the two disciples turned around and returned back to Jerusalem. They turned around. Now it makes sense. The road to Emmaus is the same road back to Jerusalem. Hope indeed is a powerful thing. It’s just a matter of turning to the right direction. |
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"...coz I can't bare to see the man I've been come rising up in me again." We continuously exist on a battlefield, but not always conscious of the spiritual war that doesn't stop raging within and around us. When we do become conscious, our focus is most often on the enemy. "My sin is ever before me." (Psalms 51:3) Just like in any other fight, we gotta defeat the enemy. BIG difference here is WE don't do it. However, a lot of times we forget that because we're so used to fighting in every one of our life's battles. This is one we can't and don't win alone. When you stare the enemy down, realize it isn't your presence or name or ability that causes it to tremble, flee or die. Turn around. (Mark 8:33/Matthew 16:23) Victory doesn't come from us. (2 Chronicles 20:17) We need to shift our focus from the sin to the grace of His forgiveness. God's love through Christ has broken the chains that bind us, but to keep them from wrapping back around us, we have to remain in Christ's embrace. May 2009 be filled with our active response to the forgiveness, healing and growth offered to us in Jesus Christ. |
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I hoped to find a video for "East to West." That song has been very close to my heart in recent weeks. It would've been some nice "pocket encouragement" had there been a video i.e. a music video and not just a live performance or a photo slideshow available. Still, this was another song that struck me from the same album. Maybe it's more appropriate, at least, in communicating how I'm feeling right now. "Be careful if you think you stand. You may just be sinking..." I'm not giving up. My faith may not be great in any sense... but I have, at least, enough, one, not to go down without a fight and, two, to know that when I have run out of fight and fear I may have lost, that's when the one thing that never happens will happen for me too. Yet, I ponder this tonight... am I ever really doing any better or do I just do a little less bad each time, but am ultimately still going the same direction and just convincing myself or letting others convince me otherwise? Finally, I'm limiting access to this post not because I am ashamed, but there are just people out there with whom I've chosen to withdraw not for judgment but by my simple preference. |
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I made this for the heck of it. Thanks, Miel... Congratulations on being the creator of a newEvil Plan (tm)!
Your objective is simple: Widespread Misery.
Your motive is a little bit more complex: Evil - It's my nature
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Just a few videos taken by Jocel at my 25th birthday party of a band formed for just one night from friendships that'll last an eternal lifetime and a whole lotta fun.  ONE NIGHT BAND Lead - Miguel Consing Rhythm - James Santos Bass - Kevy Mayuga Drums - Pat Sarabia Vocals - Gian De Leon featuring Lee De Leon & Meggie Gana HOSANNA |
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Just a buncha vids from my 25th birthday party, taken by Jocel performed by a band formed just for one night from friendships that will last an eternal lifetime and a lot of fun. ONE NIGHT BAND Lead - Miguel Consing Rhythm - James Santos Bass - Kevy Mayuga Drums - Pat Sarabia Vocals - Gian De Leon featuring Lee De Leon Meggie Gana HOSANNA <object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/ZEQU1Vlf <object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/AcbbU_OW LEAVING YOU <object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/y75nojSp <object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/J5B1zmTK CHOOSE TO BELIEVE (remix) <object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/QChKAVXR <object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/HvAAEneR INDESCRIBABLE <object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/2s7mvPyL <object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/Q4AZN-JS <object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/cjRinE6K |
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Long story short coz I'm in no mood to give the lengthy background and vent about my weekend: Two "interested parties" came by our company's booth today. While one diverted my attention, the other went through my stuff. Thankfully, my phone was all that was taken. Yes, I can still be thankful. No, I'm not pissed... yet and I'm trying not to be. Of course, one could've actually been interested and the guy was acting alone, taking advantage of my preoccupation. Anyway, I forgive that/those person/s. I won't let him/them steal my disposition today. Still, now far more than earlier, I REALLY wanna go home na though I can't. And as I have posted on my IM status for those who may suggest it, no, I won't drink or smoke this off. So, anyway, until further ONLINE notice, no calls or messages received from my Globe number are from me. I'm still having that sim blocked. If you try calling that number, it'll divert to my landline at home. For the time being, you guys can reach me on either my OFFICE or SUN cell numbers. Sucks. |
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Hey. Another entry about that girl, Tara Santelices. Now, we've heard the story told in different ways with different lesson; the one I shared being about the value of human life. Well, one thing that all have in common whether stated explicitly or understated is that it was a crime scene. Forgiveness, yes. Learning, yes. Etc. all that good stuff, yes. It doesn't change that CRIMES SHOULDN'T HAPPEN! So, maybe we can't make decisions for other people, not even if you're an existentialist i.e. living your life as you believe others should as if you were making a decision for everyone else on earth. We can't, at least, not right away and absolutely, eradicate the reasons why crimes take place... We can, however and at the very least, affect circumstances and whatever else is in our control i.e. not any person besides ourselves, such that the actual occurrences of crime will be impeded or decreased AND help out victims of any future crimes relevant to this discussion. In a nutshell, SIGN THIS PETITION so that what happened to Tara won't happen as often (hopefully). |
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The Ten CONYOmandments Yeah... I didn't think I "lived by them," but within 5 minutes after I read these, I fulfilled all ten and not on purpose. Ehe. |
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So like I was just checking my inbox now (EOD habit coz our office has a lame-o web filter) and came across 2 awesome things that made me smile that I wanna share with everyone else too... CLICK: *1AM : Worship Brings Change* *This Is Me - Gotta Find You by Julianne & Miguel* |
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Hiyee~ A lot of you got an e-mail from me recently about something that happened to a friend of a friend last August 6 with a short commentary about how horribly insensitive/uncaring/unconcerned we may have deeply become in this generation and how we neglect one of the simplest yet most highly valuable things on earth: human life. Here's something I received from one of my friends regarding the incident, written by one of her friends who also knew the victim. I thought it would help raise our awareness that we don't care about each other as much as we'd like to think or even actually say, so we we might remedy that. Also, somehow, though my connection to Tara is distant, maybe this'll indirectly help pay for her medical bills (coz we all know they suck). Live blessed. G. *** This was written by Armi Millare (amillare.multiply.com). I asked her if I could repost this and she said ok naman. This is about an incident that happened to a friend just a few days ago in Cainta. She was shot in the head during a holdup in a Jeepney. It was also her 23rd birthday on that day. I know things like these aren't far off from reality these days... we hear about stories that happened to a friend's friend's friend but this time, it really hit home. I personally know the people who were involved. Joee (also from ua&p) is the sister of a good college friend... Tara, on the other hand, is the guitarist of my friend's band. The last I heard about Tara is that she's at the ICU of Medical City and that she's becoming a little bit less responsive. The bullet is still lodged in her brain because her parents are not sure if she will survive the operation. I would like to ask for prayers for her recovery... and for people to please attend the benefit gig... I will post details on my multiply blog ~> helgapatacki.multiply.com Last I heard is that it'll be a benefit concert and poetry reading gig. Up Dharma Down, Saffron Speedway (Tara's band), and other bands will play. Please feel free to forward this email to people whom you think will be of help to this cause. Time to think twice by Armi Millare "I don't care whatever the fuck happens to you." Ever said that to anyone? Ever been told that? Those words, uttered, even without the slightest intention of meaning it, still doesn't give anyone the right to say. For anyone who's heard that, from someone whom you thought cared. Now, pan out to dozens and dozens of people who have been robbed, abused, hurt, raped, shot, murdered for reasons we know will never justify any crime commited against a living creature. Let alone, people who have friends and family that care for them more than us strangers ever will. Do you get the picture? It is inhumane. It is unspeakable. It is disturbing, but yet it happens. Do you really mean the things you say? Do you understand the gravity of words that in a somewhat parallel word, perhaps just down the street, an innocent person could be suffering the fate you have just relayed out of what was that? Oh, anger. I'm sure everyone has heard of what happened to Saffron Speedway guitarist Tara Bosch-Santileces. She was shot last August 6, the same day she turned 23, in an encounter while in the jeepney along Cainta. Robbery was the motive, and she refused to give the assailant what he wanted. No second thoughts, he pulled out his 38 caliber and shot her in the head. She is now in critical condition as we speak. In the jeepney, the people who saw it happen did not help her and her companion Joee at the time the crime took place. The driver followed his usual route, brought everyone to where they opted to go and fled. At the hospital, it took a while until a nurse came to their help when they needed assistance as Tara bled along. The cops (from what I heard from last night) haven't done much about this -- and I have not heard of any great news coming from people these days regarding strangers who help those in need, even those who've sworn to commit as a profession. There's so much fear in the air these days. There's so much evil walking around the streets of every city on the map. There's so much darkness eating up the very little pinpricks of light we get from the things that enlighten us. Yet, there's also a gray behind us, a shadow. A small thing we've done to hurt a friend, a lover, a stranger. Perhaps its time we thought twice. There's absolutely nothing wrong in taking some time to think. Tara, I have not met. But I know Joee, who's been a very important part of Tara's life. And yet I cannot find the word that best describes this feeling, of seeing someone getting hurt, just by stories being passed around in different versions. Her family and friends and acquaintances, their world, far from mine and yours, but the same brand of cut that hurts nonetheless. I hardly speak about matters regarding faith, but perhaps today I pray for a reason. I pray for Tara to get better, despite the highly doubtful situation and for Joee to recover after seeing every thing happen. I have not believed in miracles, because I've yet to see one. Still, I think about how good it must feel to witness one. When every thing else fails, our beliefs are on a tightrope we often refer to as hope. Today is the day I think twice because no, anger doesn't help solve a problem. No, hostility doesn't reduce negativity. And no, being insensitive doesn't teach others to feel for the first time, more so, feel once more. Maybe we should think twice at least at one point in our lives. Every now and then. We can probably lay off the angst for a moment. Too much hate going on. Speak of good things. If you fail to, take them back and apologize. It wont move a mountain, but anger definitely won't help in building one, either. This message goes out to every single person out there who's done some wrong and have been victims of pain. Like the guilty and innocent in me. May everyone find what they're looking for. And may you be blessed, kept safe, out of trouble and in peace at all times. Here's the news article: Robber shoots lady who refused to give up laptop 08/06/2008 | 08:56 AM Email this | Email the Editor | Print | Digg this | Add to del.icio.us MANILA, Philippines - A 23-year-old woman is now in critical condition after being shot in the head early Wednesday morning after she attempted to wrestle her laptop away from a thief in Cainta, Rizal. A report by radio dzBB's Sam Nielsen said the unidentified thief used a .38 caliber pistol to shoot the victim identified by the Cainta police as Tara Santelices (not Dara Santeneces as earlier reported) of Brookside Subdivision in Cainta town. Santelices' companion Joyce Mejias, who was riding the Marikina-bound jeepney with the victim at the time of the incident, said the suspect declared a holdup while the jeepney was moving along Felix Ave. in Cainta. But when the victim tried to wrestle back her bag containing a laptop, the assailant immediately shot her, took some of the passengers' bags and immediately fled the scene. - Johanna Camille Sisante, GMANews.TV (this is from Malaine's multiply blog) We, the friends of Tara, have decided to raise funds for Tara's hospital bills. This is the least we can do to ease the unbearable pain her family is going through. We have been given the go-signal from Tara's dad, Tito Larry, and here are the details: The temporary bank account is under Anne Marie F. Santelices, Banco de Oro, SA 2140-062201. For direct cash donations, please proceed to the ICU Waiting Room of the Medical City (Ortigas Avenue, Pasig City). Please look for Joee Mejias or Lila Santelices. For inquiries, please contact Joee Mejias (09228154987) for calls and Jac Ledonio (09167243071) or Myka Francisco (09163695148) for text messages. |
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Everyone knows that I've been anti-Philippines/anti-Filipino for like... what seemed to be eternity. (Long story... goes back to some childhood trauma that gets built on over years... not telling that now :P) Eternity's ending, folks. Maybe. I just listened to the Passion Podcast in which Louie Giglio and some other members of the Passion Worship team were speaking from/about their stop in Manila last Friday. More than what Louie (uy! close na kami! first name basis!) was saying about God or about Filipinos etc., it was hearing his recordings from the conference-concert itself that really just rammed into a wall around my heart which resulting cracks make me want to try to have hope for this country and its people in spite of our past differences. (Yeah, coz I got into a fight with the whole country. Haha.) Hearing how loud and clear we sang "How Great Is Our God" (and in a higher key...sorry, Chris + band!), and how we went completely berserk during Louie & Chris' "God of This City" exhortation... well, it just touched my faith and I could hear God ask me, "Is it so much to ask for just a tiny bit of belief from you?" I've lived in pain for so long that I'm an expert at it, but that's not something on which to pride myself. Because, especially these days, I choose a greater and higher path to walk, maybe it's time for me to put what pain I can away. I can stick it with sin (as far as the east is from the west) and take one more step towards living free. I'm still no patriot. I'm just saying, "Sure. I may be living in 'heck,' but that's just dandy coz that's where God's gonna pour out the greater portion of His forgiveness, mercy, compassion, healing and love. So, I'm gonna get summathat too!" Miracles do happen. You see them when you believe. (Gross. Cheesy. I just realized that that's almost exactly the same as the Prince of Egypt song AFTER I typed it...which is cool, I guess, coz I love Mariah. Haha!) Live blessed! |
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Click here to see PART I. *** Emotions Emotion is a mental and physiological state associated with a wide variety of feelings, thoughts, and behaviors. Feeling on the other hand refers to the subjective experience of an emotion. Recently, the author realized that he has grown to love the Bible, particularly the Gospel. It is a happy and surprising realization. It is an emotion that the author could not have imagined he will associate with “words and stories” written so long ago. This is the belated second installment of the Road to Emmaus series.  Emotion is a very consistent thing. It has only one purpose: to move you. We’ve seen and felt it so many times. Excitement over a new undertaking. Passion for a new love. Hate born out of pride. Anger caused by hurt. Religious fervor after a spiritual experience. But the most interesting thing about emotion is that it doesn’t last. Eventually, it dies down. Let it burn long enough and it burns itself out. You stop, until a different or the same emotion again comes along. Sometimes if you let it burn often or long enough, it will burn you with it, it will consume you. The result is always the same. Emotion is ephemeral. If emotions never last, what then is it for? It breaks inertia. But that is all that it can do. It will never get you far enough to where it’s worth going. It certainly cannot provide you with directions. How you continue to move and where you want to go is up to you, distractions and emotions notwithstanding. Is this true for you? - I know in my heart that there is a “place” where I am supposed to be. Home. I feel it. I know it. But I cannot trust my emotions to get me there… Emotions may be consistent, but it is never enough. It will never get you far enough to where you really want to go. |
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Hey, guys. Saw this on the blogs of a couple friends. I haven't seen him, but hey, doin' my part by spreadin' the word 'til it reaches someone who has. And I'll keep my own eyes open as well. Check out this post: http://melquita.multiply.com/photos/albu Live blessed. G. |
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Help spread out this message! This family desperately needs all the help they can get! Please keep praying for them.http://melquita.multiply.com/photos/a |
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I got this e-mail this evening from one of our church elders and a dear friend. I thought it was brilliant and wanted to share it with all of you. People tell us we should be careful with the things we ask... we should also be warned about the consequences of not asking for anything (good/better) as well as the consequences of asking against things (that are good/better)... Do we even know what GOOD(ness) is anymore? What do you pray for? And is the Person you're praying to even in your life (let alone in your room...)? *** The following was written by Ben Stein and recited by him on CBS Sunday Morning Commentary. My confession: I am a Jew, and every single one of my ancestors was Jewish. And it does not bother me even a little bit when people call those beautiful lit up, bejeweled trees, Christmas trees.. I don't feel threatened. I don't feel discriminated against. That's what they are: Christmas trees. It doesn't bother me a bit when people say, 'Merry Christmas' to me. I don't think they are slighting me or getting ready to put me in a ghetto. In fact, I kind of like it. It shows that we are all brothers and sisters celebrating this happy time of year. It doesn't bother me at all that there is a manger scene on display at a key intersection near my beach house in Malibu . If people want a crèche, it's just as fine with me as is the Menorah a few hundred yards away. I don't like getting pushed around for being a Jew, and I don't think Christians like getting pushed around for being Christians. I think people who believe in God are sick and tired of getting pushed around, period. I have no idea where the concept came from that America is an explicitly atheist country. I can't find it in the Constitution and I don't like it being shoved down my throat. Or maybe I can put it another way: where did the idea come from that we should worship Nick and Jessica and we aren't allowed to worship God as we understand Him? I guess that's a sign that I'm getting old, too. But there are a lot of us who are wondering where Nick and Jessica came from and where the America we knew went to. In light of the many jokes we send to one another for a laugh, this is a little different: This is not intended to be a joke; it's not funny, it's intended to get you thinking. Billy Graham's daughter was interviewed on the Early Show and Jane Clayson asked her 'How could God let something like this happen?' (regarding Katrina) Anne Graham gave an extremely profound and insightful response. She said, 'I believe God is deeply saddened by this, just as we are, but for years we've been telling God to get out of our schools, to get out of our government and to get out of our lives. And being the gentleman He is, I believe He has calmly backed out. How can we expect God to give us His blessing and His protection if we demand He leave us alone?' In light of recent events... terrorists attack, school shootings, etc. I think it started when Madeleine Murray O'Hare (she was murdered, her body found recently) complained she didn't want prayer in our schools, and we said OK. Then someone said you better not read the Bible in school. The Bible says thou shalt not kill, thou shalt not steal, and love your neighbor as yourself. And we said OK. Then Dr. Benjamin Spock said we shouldn't spank our children when they misbehave because their little personalities would be warped and we might damage their self-esteem (Dr. Spock's son committed suicide). We said an expert should know what he's talking about. And we said OK. Now we're asking ourselves why our children have no conscience, why they don't know right from wrong, and why it doesn't bother them to kill strangers, their classmates, and themselves. Probably, if we think about it long and hard enough, we can figure it out. I think it has a great deal to do with 'WE REAP WHAT WE SOW.' Funny how simple it is for people to trash God and then wonder why the world's going to hell. Funny how we believe what the newspapers say, but question what the Bible says. Funny how you can send 'jokes' through e-mail and they spread like wildfire but when you start sending messages regarding the Lord, people think twice about sharing. Funny how lewd, crude, vulgar and obscene articles pass freely through cyberspace, but public discussion of God is suppressed in the school and workplace. Are you laughing yet? Funny how when you forward this message, you will not send it to many on your address list because you're not sure what they believe, or what they will think of you for sending it. Funny how we can be more worried about what other people think of us than what God thinks of us. Pass it on if you think it has merit. If not then just discard it... no one will know you did. But, if you discard this thought process, don't sit back and complain about what bad shape the world is in. My Best Regards, Honestly and respectfully, Ben Stein |
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...in which I vented A LOT. The term "bitch fit" can barely contain the contents of that entry. I erased it and what is written here is what replaced it. I'm both reluctant and "joyful" to say that not only did venting NOT make me feel better, but it made me feel worse. I remembered Jesus on the cross and the song "Why" by Nichole Nordeman, and thought, "Shit. He went through MUCH worse than what I am and He did it for me, but more importantly at the moment, for the people who put Him through all that, and He didn't even complain. In fact, He praised God and prayed for His enemies." Mahiya naman ako. Still, more than "hiya," as we as Filipinos have generally been brought up to live under the reign of guilt and fear of punishment (aminin...), I thought that the best part of my life has been trying to become more like Him. I should really bitch a lot less; ideally, just stop. So, I'll just ask you, whoever reads this, to pray for me please... for my "career..." for my family... for my church and second family... for THE church (everybody)... especially children, youth and young adults... that God would teach me how to pray and so to be... coz I have no strength of my own left, which I believe is good though it sure don't feel good. Eh~ |
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